What a ride!

Currently I´m laying down in a hospital in David due to an infected foot that swelled to unnatural proportions originating from an unsightly purple and red big toe. How it happened?  I really can´t tell you.  Somewhere between hiking around the jungle, crossing dozens of rivers, and making my way through the dirty streets of Panama City and David, all in my trusty chacos (which aren´t so trusty anymore seeing as they are about to tear in two) I got a small cut and bacterial infection.  So I´ve been hospitalized overnight and am finally granted some time to actually write a blog post. 

My Peace Corps service is coming to an end.  Even though I still don´t quite believe it myself, I will be flying into Portland International Airport on October 12^th of this year.  Crazy!  That gives me 6.5 weeks until I leave my site and 7.5 weeks until I leave the country.  Having just come from my close of service (COS) conference, it is actually beginning to sink in.  At the conference I had to say goodbye to some fellow volunteers who arrived with me here two years ago, and whom I certainly will never see again in Panama.  Getting to this stage of my service has brought on a whole new phase of reflection.  I came to Peace Corps pretty much solely with the idea of serving a community in need.  Never in my fantasizing of what Peace Corps might be like had I considered that I would make some lifelong friends.  Nor did I realize what an important role my fellow volunteers would play in my emotional and mental stability.  They have gotten me through some of the hardest times and although many people around the world can relate to the experience of Peace Corps or any service of this style for that matter, these friends have seen me go through triumphs and challenges like no other.  It has been an incredible experience to get to know a group of people from all across the United States risking everything that is comfortable in hopes of making a difference in a country that none of us chose, but all have come to love (and sometimes hate).  Panama is a beautiful country and I will most definitely never live in such a tropical paradise right on the beach ever again.  But it´s not over yet…

I´m excited to get back to my site where the lovely Maggie Melcher (my follow-up volunteer) has bravely taken on coordinating the work crew over the last week and a half.  If everything is on schedule we will now have completed one 900 gallon tank and the 2000 gallon tank, and be about half way finished with the second 900 gallon tank.  Leaving only the second half of tank 3 and all of tank 4, plus one spring source capture which a group of volunteers are coming to help me build on the 3^rd of September.  I´m still hopeful that we can finish all concrete work before I depart, leaving only tube connections and burial for Ms. Melcher.  Given how hard the community has been working to knock out these tanks I think this is very possible.  I have to say, we´re doing great things in Playa Balsa, I´m consistently left with a sense of pride towards the efforts of the community and how far they have come throughout this process.  That is not to say that I do not have my days where I get grumpy and feel the stress of managing this project, but as always, stepping away for a few days rejuvenates me and brings out the greatest admiration for my community. 

What has not sunk in is just how much I am going to miss my community.  Although I always knew it was a temporary home, it was a home nonetheless.  I´ve become extremely close to these people and love them for all their magnificence and flaws.  Plus, the natural beauty is truly my favorite place on earth.  Luckily, with loss comes renewal.  I´m already getting excited about sleeping under a comforter on a cold night and cuddling up to a fireplace with a glass of whiskey, with my family all around me in the living room.  I´m so very ready to spend time with all the people I love and have missed, from old friends to my one year old niece.  Reuniting with Helen Jones, my beautiful fiance remains unfathomable, and yet something which I have been waiting the last two years to come true.  What a ride.

In Motion

Greetings from Playa Balsa!

Things are moving along quite nicely here.  The first hurdle was transportation.  Getting a dug-out canoe large enough to move the amount of materials we needed required some searching.  Originally I was walking 4 hours round trip to coordinate transport with a boat owner in Kusapin, which proved trying given that the ocean´s mood can change in what appears an instant.  After many failed attempts to get materials due to weather, I ended up making a handshake contract with another boat owner that was only an hour and a half round-trip walk away, which proved much simpler to coordinate.  We proceeded to gather 700 five gallon bucket sized bags of gravel from a nearby beach, transporting between 130 to 150 bags each trip depending on the weather.  There were certainly some rough moments.   Most notably being when we tried to unload 150 bags on a section of beach that ended up filling our 40 foot dugout canoe with water as waves continued to crash upon us.  I found myself swimming around inside the boat trying to find bags of gravel to heave over the side to the transporters.  Eventually we had the boat emptied of gravel but full of water.  With 10 men inside the boat each with a five gallon buckets we emptied out the water and pushed the boat past the crashing waves and into safety, with only minor damage to the boat and much excitement.

Outside of gravel we made trips to Chirique Grande in search of cement.  That trip in particular took 8 hours at sea, due to the 15 horse power engine we were forced to use.  Then near the end of the trip we were top sided by a sneaker wave that nearly flipped the boat, but luckily lost no cement or passengers.  During another trip we got 150 thirty foot long sections of rebar and enough tube to start the tanks and source captures.  That leaves us still with some trips to get cement once we´ve used up the 50 bags we already bought and a trip to get the 400 twenty foot sections of tube we will need to pipe the water into homes. 

The next task was then to move said materials to the construction site, which when carrying 94 pound bags of cement long distances, is no small feat.  I´m continually amazed by the men´s ability to move heavy loads with no short-term negative consequences.  After making two 25 minute trips carrying a bag of cement I felt as if my body would never fully function again and thus have learned my lesson that I cannot move the same amount of weight as the local men. 

Currently we have two of the three source captures completed and have poured the floor and first section of the walls on one of four tanks.  Given that I have approximately three months left in site, my new goal is complete the last source capture and three of the four tanks before leaving.  I´m happy to announce that Playa Balsa has received a very capable and energetic Peace Corps Volunteer as my replacement with the local name of “Osi”.  Over the next three months the community and I will be training her to take over the project and I feel confident that the project will be in good hands.

The community continues to work hard and prove to me that they were ready to take on such a large project.  Recently my friend Tolichi from a nearby site visited to help me with the first three days of tank construction, furthering my appreciation towards the community as he spoke of just how impressed he was of the community´s efforts.  

Project Funded

Dear donors and readers of Playa Balsa´s potable water project,

I want to start by expressing to you all how much my community and I appreciate your donation and support to this project.   

Due to our political affiliation with the Comarca Ngabe-Bugle, yet our geographical connection to the Bocas del Toro province, our region is often forgotten when it comes to development.  On top of that, being a community of just 200 residents and a pretty new community, if development does reach our region, it still will not reach PlayaBalsa.  When the community found out that the project had been funded they called a community-wide meeting and spent an hour taking turns giving speeches about just how happy and accomplished they felt.  They were extremely generous with their words in regards to the donors of this project and my work with them.  In return I reminded them of how hard they have worked to get this project started and congratulated them for reaching this stage.  As many of them then went on to say, in many ways we have just begun. 

About three weeks ago Playa Balsa and I got full access to the funds for the project and have spent the last three weeks setting the ground work.  We have been arranging transportation of materials, measuring and designing our source captures, and uncovering a spring source which had been covered by a landslide that we will use as another source.  (The project in reality is four separate gravity-fed water systems due to the geography and water flow of the sources).  I have also been giving classes on how to calculate volume and make conversions from cubic feet to five gallon buckets, which has been a lot of fun as older men have really seemed to enjoy learning this skill.

On a personal note, I feel so grateful to be entering into the next stage of my Peace Corps service.  I have never been this busy in my entire service and I´ve honestly never been more content.  Getting this project funded has also been a great success in terms of my reputation and Peace Corps reputation in the community.  My promotion of Peace Corps´ sustainable development process is showing true results in the eyes of the community and making all the prior meeting around needs assessment, what is potable water, and survey data applicable.  I remain extremely dedicated to the community being the driving force behind the project and am trying my best to go at the community´s pace (even when it feels painfully slow).  I continue to stress while I care about seeing the project completed, it means nothing to me if I don´t see the community truly managing the project alongside me, if not more than me, because that is what will decide the long term success of the system.

Thank you again for your incredible generosity and I will continue to send out updates about our progress. 

Attached is a photo of the first work day at the spring source we recently cleaned up.

My Peace Corps Grant is Online!

Hello Friends, Family, and Interested Blog Readers,

As many of you know I have been living here in Panama for over a year now working in a small rural village of 200 residents on the Caribbean ocean as a Water Sanitation Peace Corps Volunteer. Playa Balsa is home to white sandy beaches and gorgeous turquoise waters, but lacks potable water and sanitation facilities. Over the last 9 months I have worked along side community leaders to design a gravity-fed water system that will bring potable water to 25 homes, a church, a small store, and the community building. With high rates of water borne and fecal-oral illnesses this aqueduct will be a great improvement to the community´s health. At the same time we will build the community´s first latrine as a pilot project to hopefully promote better understanding of the importance of latrines and sway those residents who are skeptical of the switch from utilizing the creek as their sanitation facility. It is clear that some residents already desire a home latrine, so this pilot latrine will help the follow-up volunteer work with the community to address just how many should be built and demonstrate the maintenance of the composting design.

To make this project possible we need funds to do so, $10,035.50 to be exact. In case some of you are wishing to make a holiday donation for a family member or yourself I have recently had my project posted on the Peace Corps website https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=525-173 where you can make a tax deductible donation. If you simply can´t afford to in these tough economic times but know someone who might be able, please help me forward this email along. If you know of any organizations that would be worth contacting regarding funding this project, I would greatly appreciate that information as well. I´m extremely proud of all the hard work my community has done to understand water borne illnesses and design a water system to prevent them and appreciate every penny that helps put their dreams into action.
I hope all is well in your lives and appreciate you taking the time to read this email. 

Saludos!

America

America! You great country. I´m coming home to you to visit.

As I fly from Panama City to Miami I can´t help but think about the ideals for which America stands for. The other day one of my host dads (Julian Record) asked me if I thought the United States believes in Jesus Christ less than Panama does . But what he was really asking was, why is the United States always at war? He told me that he knows that the United States is always trying to do good in the world. And so we started to debate what a justified war is. I ultimately asked him, do you think it is up to the United States to throw every dictator out of power like we did in Iraq. He wasn´t sure but he thought yes. The greatest message I took away from this conversation, and so many like it that I´ve had: The United States´ image as the most free, equal, and democratic country in the world has even reached one of the most isolated parts of Panama. I was sad to tell Julian that I think much of the motive of war comes from defense contractors desire to make money. And that I think he is much less critical of the United States than I am. I remember when I was writing my application for the Peace Corps, I had to walk a fine line between not offending the government agency I wanted to work for, while at the same time articulate how much I want to be a part of the good international work the United States does. I feel so grateful to truly feel like I am a part of that work today. And I honestly think I fulfill Peace Corps desire to send out ambassadors of American ideals. I question some of our country´s actions, but only because I think they sometimes stray from our ideals. The difference between the United States´ intervention in Libya vs. Iraq is a great comparison. Libya: U.S. intervention supported by U.N. and Arab League of Nations with clear limitations outlined on for far our support would go. Iraq: none of the above.

We´re far from perfect, but the ideals for which we strive for truly are.

Ngobes with English last names

The peninsula where I live is full of English and Scottish last names: Beker, Williams, Record, Archibald, Trotman, to name a few. So why is that? I´ve got a few theories I´ve put together from conversation and nonfiction.

What most of my community points out is that during World War I many American soldiers got don´t fully believe it). These soldiers got together with Ngobe women, left the children and last name behind, and went on their way. My host dad, Julian Record, had a grandfather named Charlie Smith who had that exact thing happen. He was a white, blue eyed Ngobe who spoke only Ngabere. Julian´s mother who is still alive supposedly has blue eyes but I have yet to meet her.

My constructed theory is this. Many British and Scottish slave owners had slaves working in Haiti on cotton plantations. But when taxes were increased they abandoned Haiti and came to Bocas with their slaves. As the United Fruit company developed (probably beginning with many smaller companies) they originally came to the Peninsula Valiente, told the locals to plant bananas and they´d be back to buy them before they moved production to Changinola. Ngobes originally used their birthplace as their last name. I´m Sili Cruomu, Sili from Cruomoi (which means balsa). The banana owners asked the Ngobes their last name, didn´t understand, and so through these English/Scottish names on them, and history was wrote.

The third influence is the church. We´ve got Methodist, Church of the Apostles, Jehovah’s Witness, and a number of evangelical sects. I think this could have influenced their last names as well.

The Finca

I spent the entire day in the finca today. It was a wonderful day filled of sucking on cacao seeds (if you´ve never tried them you must, they are so sweet and delicious). We planted some seeds in my friend´s finca (tomatoes, basil, bell pepper, carrots, lettuce, and squash), none of which they grow here so we´re trying it out, to try and increase their vegetable intake. We also harvested some ñame, green bananas, and I carried a log to their home for the fagon (firewood stove). We came back to their home to talk about comarca politics and why the United States is always at war. All while eating boiled ñame with coconut soup and freshly killed duck. A truly fantastic day if you ask me.

It was one of those days where I question whether I really hope for much to change out here. It is such a beautiful, simple, and relaxed way of life. Every time that I go to the finca, sure it is partly hard work, but there is also a lot of time simply spent talking, laughing, and eating. There are many people who have left Playa Balsa to work in the city, especially for the United Fruit company, only to come back. They say it´s just so beautiful! There is always vegetables in the finca and fish in the sea, the only problem is clothes. That seems to be the only reason that people leave these days, to get enough money to buy new clothes, and then they´re back. I think that is especially true now that Red de Opportunidades (the welfare program sponsored by the World Bank) gives the women $100 every two months. That money covers sugar, salt, cooking oil, a little rice, and of course the occasional candy.

Sometimes I do have these epiphanies about the poverty here as I´m sitting in someone´s home. A baby might have just pooped on the floor and it is simply cleaned with a little wet rag and never soap. There are kids running around everywhere carrying machetes and other sharp objects, while the parents give a quick snap that I´m going to hit them if they don´t shut up. And parts of the house seem ready to fall at any moment. And other times, as mentioned above, I get the opposite epiphany, and think to myself, this life really is quite romantic. I think it is recognizing that duality that I have taken away most from being here: the natural beauty, the poor hygiene, the relaxed pace, and likewise, the lack of motivation. It might be the longest vacation I have ever endured, but at the same time, it has been truly eye opening to see another way of living and given me ample time for reflection. I remember before I left everybody would simply say, “It changed my life.” I would hear that and wonder to myself ´but how?´ I don´t know if I´m that much closer to answering that question. Perhaps that is supposed to be the great Peace Corps secret. But in all honesty, the Peace Corps is just the vehicle. Anybody who has ever put themselves into an entirely foreign and uncomfortable situation such as this I believe could relate. You learn about yourself, especially how to find happiness when all your lifelines are cut. You learn about another culture and the way they organize their lives, make decisions, and generally perceive the world. You learn how to try to instill motivation and inspire people to think about the future of their community. And perhaps most of all, you learn that life is a process and that any specific goals you might have started with necessitate adaptation.

Floating Doctors

Yesterday I got to translate all day for a group of American medical providers called the Floating Doctors who came to a community near me to provide basic medical attention to surrounding communities. It was awesome! Over two days they were able to see about 100 patients, providing ultrasounds to mothers, medicines, and basic medical advice. They gave out painkillers, worm medicine, yeast infection medication, antibiotics for urinary tract infections, vitamins, and a variety of other medications. The majority of the cases called for simple remedies such as water for headaches and washing hands for preventing diarrhea. Two things which myself and fellow volunteers often emphasize, but which is much more respected when coming from a doctor.

I was translating for a nurse practitioner from Hawaii who had a little bit of Spanish speaking skills, but was very happy to have me there to clarify and translate in both directions. It was truly an incredible experience. The nurse practitioner and I were both impressed by the openness of the villagers here on the peninsula. Women were very open to discuss their sex life, vaginal health, and personal lives in front of me so that I could then translate it. One of my favorite moments was when a couple was trying to figure out why they haven´t had any success getting pregnant for the last 5 years, wanting a third child (hopefully a girl) now that there youngest of two boys was 10. It turned out the husband had had an accident in the last few years after drinking too much and falling. The nurse practitioner recommended that if he is trying to get his wife pregnant he should try not to drink to keep his sperm healthy. Instantly a smile appeared on the wife´s face. Leverage! The nurse practitioner was practically winking at the wife in front of her husband.
Almost every person I translated for I knew and had some backstory with. For those who I did not know, I was able to break the ice with a little ngabere. The nurse practitioner was extremely sweet and quickly picked up the word “koin” which means good. “Lungs koin, heart koin, everything koin.” It made me so proud that the locals felt so comfortable in front of me, and I left feeling so grateful to live in such a warm and open culture.

http://floatingdoctors.com/

Little Poem

The clouds hover over the ocean
Signaling the rain to come.
Gusts of wind give the final warning.
I find refuge within my hammock
Pen and Paper in hand.
I watch as lives move before me
Walking incessantly upon the white sand highway
Many find cover under my roof
The rain gives a perfect excuse to come
Look at my photos for the 10th maybe 20th time.
Pictures of Ghanaian chiefs and the salt plains of Bolivia,
Thermal waters of blue skies and red bacteria in Yellowstone
Always draw fascination.
Photos of community members and myself in the finca bring laughter.
Questions of the world always ensue.
“What country is at the edge of the Earth?”
“Where were you when the twin towers fell?”
I love these questions
I get out my map and try to explain that the Earth is round
I give lessons on world history and U.S. involvement in the Middle East
These are indeed my favorite moments.
The rain calms and with on visitor gone, another arrives
A new round of coffee or tea
A new story
The same questions.

Side Projects

I wanted to take some time and write about some side projects I´ve been working on aside from Playa Balsa´s aqueduct.


Sex Ed:
The nearest volunteer to me lives only 20 minutes away in Cayo Paloma where all the kids from 3 communities (including my own) go to school for preschool to 9th grade. Then it´s off to Kusapin, a two hour walk each way, for those seeking to graduate.
Throughout my year here it has been quite obvious that kids become sexually active early and simply rely on the pullout method. While birth rates alone show that this “family planning method” is not working, babies are popping out left and right, often against the mother´s desire, the newest threat is AIDS brought over from Bocas del Toro. About six months ago a girl died of AIDS in a nearby community and it was decided by the locals that it was because she ate pork. Thus, the need for sex ed was very apparent.

Mary Beth (the nearby volunteer) and I decided to go after the youngest possible age we thought we could get away with and thus chose 7th grade. We did 5 classes in total beginning with self-esteem and decision making lectures. One of my favorite activities was taken from Ashland Oregon´s Fresh Start program that I had participated and facilitated in High School. We split into small groups and each wrote a complement on a card for each member for the group, read them aloud, and then bundled them together with string. We then moved on to STIs, HIV/AIDS, and finally family planning, culminating with a condom demonstration on small bananas called buchu. I was extremely impressed by the kids maturity throughout the couse and was surprised but delighted by their excitement each day we arrived for class. Sadly, birth control including condoms are rarely accessible out here (the health center has been without any form of medicine, including birth control and condoms for 7 months now. So my hope remains in the decision making skills of these youngens. While with the previous generation many women got pregnant as early as 14, the average age seems to be more like 17 or 18 these days. Though girls still remain behind boys slightly in education level, they are catching up, leaving room for hope for the current generation.

Aside from that every Saturday I have been giving English lessons and playing games with the youngest kids in the community (4 to 11). The English is a bit of a joke given that many are just learning to read and write, but I quickly moved into more dynamic lesson plans which helps immensely. More than anything however, the kids come for the games. Duck duck goose, capture the flag, playa mar, tiger-hombre-rifle, etc. I began this tradition to justify kicking the loads of kids off my porch now and again so I wouldn´t feel so bad, but I´ve grown extremely fond of this weekly activity and the kids remain a vital element to my mental health. They always have so much energy and enthusiasm for life. They remain positive even in the most dire moments of poverty, and are all around an inspiration. Having said that, I tire quickly and certainly leave the two hour class beat.

Finally, I have been working with two other volunteers to finish a project financially supported by an Eco Tourism resort near Bocas. Much of the project has been simply damage control from some volunteers before my time. While the composting latrine built for tourists was done perfectly (although the community wouldn´t be caught dead using it) the source capture was built on top of gravel and the water quickly eroded under it. So Audrey, Luis, and I started by fixing the source capture, hooked up a 500 gallon tank and surveyed the 11 houses that could possibly benefit from the system. I then designed the aqueduct system (which will sadly only benefit 10 of the 11 houses given the height of one of the homes), sent the list of materials to the Eco Tourism Resort, and will soon be moving into construction phase of that project. Meanwhile, with Audrey´s replacement volunteer, Eric, I hope to push watershed and system management and maintenance education. I hope that Eric and I can finish the project up so it passes through no more PCVs hands and gets water to the community as soon as possible. Plus, it appears to be the perfect time filler until my PCPP funds come in to begin Playa Balsa´s system.

Oh yeah, and teaching English to the 7th, 8th, and 9th grade teachers in Cayo Paloma once a week.

Work Hard Play Hard

Perhaps it´s a good sign when a great deal of time has elapsed since my last post. Shows that I´ve been doing something. Or perhaps it is simply indicative of the isolation of my site and the lack of computer time that such a site provides me. I think both reasons are applicable here.

Sustainable development has many shades of grey. How does one decide when to hold the hand of your community members and when to let go and push them to take initiative? How do you know what will truly leave lasting change? When community members will learn best by doing and when they can learn by seeing? I have struggled endlessly with questions like these, wondering just what the right recipe for sustainable development is for my particular community, community leaders, and improving potable water. A dash of inspiration here, a pinch of guilt trip there, and a cup of motivational speech “I´m onlypushing you because I believe in you” to top it off.

The difficulties of small scale development are numerous. In a community of 200 or 7 billion, you have to seek out the best leaders possible, and not one of them will be perfect. But when elections consisted of members like the treasurer of your water committee being chosen while sleeping through the meeting and has no mathematical aptitude, things become a bit more interesting. Talking to fellow Peace Corps Volunteers, some just get those near perfect leaders. Whatever it is they are driven, passionate, and community minded individuals. The gems. And it´s in those communities where positive change for the community almost comes about naturally. It only takes one, and that one can make all the difference. And there are other communities where you have a handful of potential leaders, but not one of them really has that fire, that motivation, that drive to better the lives within their community. They want change, they can envision improved living conditions and a better life, but they aren´t entirely willing to go the extra mile to get there. That is my community. A number of potential leaders that I love and respect, but who simply don´t quite have what it takes to be that change shaking force in the community. But I believe that is communities that struggle in this sense who need a Peace Corps Volunteer even more. It means more motivation from me, me trying even harder to instill motivation in their hearts, and constantly finding that balance between pushing them and holding their hand. Volunteers always say that emotions in Peace Corps are like a rollercoaster, it´s rare for them to last longer than a few minutes. But honestly, my emotions have been nothing but pride for the last three weeks.

My community and I have finalized a grant proposal to build a series of small aqueducts and improve one current system, to bring potable water to the entire community of 200. I´m so proud of my community. Throughout the last 9 months they have worked hard to organize themselves and work with me to better understand what is potable water, address the community´s needs, and design a system that will better serve those needs. They´ve helped me measure flow, survey multiple potential sources, and ultimately make the tough decisions necessitated by the unique geographical and water characteristics of their community.

We have recently submitted a $15,000 grant proposal. $5,000 of which will come from the community through their labor, sand, wood, and vegetables and fish (for work parties), and $10,000 of which we are seeking to buy tubes, cement, tools, rebar, transportations costs, and gravel. Environmental Health Panama is lucky because we have a great relationship with an international organization called Water Lines (that is actually out of Santa Fe New Mexico) which will contribute half of the funds to the project. Leaving me with finding the other half ($5,000).

While I have always been very honest of the struggles involved for small scale grass roots development workers, and have certainly not over glorified my own experience, I do adamantly believe that the work I am doing is incredibly important and credible. I look at the way Panama´s Ministry of Health and UN projects for potable water are executed and the way Peace Corps executes our work, and we do such a better job. The project is better designed and built, but more importantly we spend the time to make sure that community members are truly involved along every step of the way. And that is simply because we give two years to these communities to educate and design a project alongside them, and other organizations are in and out and just need to get the job done. They have limited resources and have decided to utilize a more macro scale to achieve their projects. But that often leaves the community without the ownership necessary to properly maintain their water system.

The grant proposal should be online and able to be donated to if you have any desire to do so within the next month. I´ll put the link to the tax deductible donation link as soon as it goes through the bureaucratic steps necessary to get it there. I certainly do not want anybody to feel obligated to donate. I´m going to go after larger organizations first like Rotary and Returned Peace Corps Volunteer Orgs and then if I´m still struggling for funds I might be sending out personal emails to friends and family.

On a personal note I recently had my best buddies from high school visit me for an amazing time together. So good to see those fellows! I´m just returning from a rafting trip at another volunteer´s site and an all-inclusive resort called the Decameron where we celebrated our one years mark in site (one to go). I will be back in Portland Oregon to see my beautiful family, my new niece Ivie, and friends for Thanksgiving. I can´t stop thinking about the food! And then for Christmas and News Years I will sail through the San Blas Islands to Columbia on a 40 foot sailboat, to visit another volunteer´s family there with 8 other volunteers. I´m already feeling quite spoiled just thinking about it.

I hope all is well in everybody´s lives. Miss you all. Thanks for reading.

Often I feel like I´m not doing enough. I get restless and want to see change happening before my eyes. One of the better quotes of my APCD (boss) who just left us was¨"Development is a slow process, sustainable development is even slower." But looking back on my pictures I feel like I´ve been hard at work.

In early July fellow Peace Corps volunteers and I helped facilitate part 1 of our water seminar (pictures shown here) and part 2 was between August 10-12. Here we brought together community members who are on the water committee (or involved in designing a water system as is the case of my community participants) and taught them about how gravity fed water systems work, how to manage them, and how to organize the community to continually have funds and motivation to maintain the system. Molding tube, utilizing a model aqueduct to understand flow principles, and water treatment methods are just but a few of the workshop sessions.

It´s a great seminar developed by years of former volunteers. Community members are often just excited to get an opportunity to travel on the Peace Corps dime and eat meat, but I feel confident saying that they all leave with a better understanding of water systems and their management. Plus, it´s a great opportunity for volunteers to share their specialties and learn from each other. Not to mention some good English speaking time and catching up.

Meanwhile, back at site I recently had another Peace Corps volunteer from the Community Environmental Conversation program come and teach myself and community members how to make two new firewood cooking stove models.

Pictured here is the traditional "fagon" design, utilizing two large logs and a rock to cook the large pots of food these large families scarf down. In many places around Panama this large of firewood logs are no longer possible of finding due to deforestation, but my site is just beginning to experience this difficulty. However, there are also other concerns around women´s health due to smoke intake, the amount of time that is lost gathering firewood, and of course the desire to decrease global emissions.

To address these concerns many organizations around the Latin America have been promoting the estufa lorena. The problem with the estufa lorena is that most data indicates that the stove doesn´t cut down on fuel use. So a local NGO has developed the "bliss burner" which data shows does reduce the amount of fuel wood needed, smoke, and cooks food faster. This is a sleek design (pictured first) and most community members like it best from first site, however, if the plastic mold breaks there is no way to replace it. So the volunteer who visited me (Chris Brown) built a new mold that utilizes wood 2x4s and screws to make bricks that can be stacked and built into a nice little "tower" stove. Both designs use cement, clay, hay, sand, and water. So its been a fun little project. We just built one of each in the community center so women can check them out and see if they want to use them. There is certainly so barriers to change, such as women liking the smell of smoke, smoking fish and turtle, cutting the firewood differently, and having to learn how to build a new fire. But I´m hoping to get a few women convinced so that they can then promote the benefits to the rest of the community.

Otherwise I´ve been gathering more data about the water system we´re hoping to design. Mostly I´m trying to find leaders. I just got back from a leadership workshop and am hoping that the water committee president will start stepping it up and organizing community members to continue forward with the study we have before us. Most people continue to feel like I should just do everything and I continue to emphasize the sustainability necessity of their involvement so we don´t end up in another situation where they have an aqueduct that last 1 year and then sits broken for 12 years. It´s funny but I continue to experience many of the same challenges that I´ve dealt with all along. People asking when the tubes will arrive without any involvement in the project at all, telling me I´m rich, and largely still not understanding what Peace Corps is. But I remain hopeful that patience and repetition will solve all these misconceptions.

I also stay busy teaching English one day a week to the 7th, 8th, and 9th grade teachers in Cayo Paloma, and teaching English and playing games with the children on Saturdays. There is also always children at my house playing cards, playing frisbee, or teaching me cool tricks like making propellers that blow in the wind .

The composting latrine/water catchment

I just really wanted to post a picture of the awesome 67 gallon ferro cement tank that my buddy Tolichi (Luis Gram) and I built to collect water for my house. I've got it piped to my house for a wonderful outdoor shower and a sink faucet.

To the left of the tank is where I compost my poop from a bucket I use. Its pretty exciting stuff I know. I'm trying to promote the bucket latrine for elderly and disabled people in my community and have gone as fare and sticking my nose right up to the bucket vent and taking a big wiff to prove it doesn't smell (which it didn't). Ahh the work of an Environmental Health volunteer.

Some images of me working with the newly formed water committee.

So my family has left me and yet I still remain in Panama City. After many years of a popping/cracking shoulder blade that has only worsened throughout my time proving myself in my community via manual labor and of course building my house, I am undergoing a bit of physical therapy. I feel a bit guilty being away from my community for so long, but I also want to take care of this problem before it progresses worse. So, I'm trying to embrace this unexpected time in the city as an opportunity to connect with friends and family online and plan out my upcoming projects, without visitors constantly at my door.

Getting time alone in my site is surprisingly hard to do. You would think otherwise. For god's sake, I live in the middle of nowhere. But what continues to become very clear is that the Ngäbes in my community have an EXTREMELY social culture. During the four days in my site with my lovely parents and sister Nina, we couldn't remember one moment at my house without 10 adults and children sitting on the front porch wanting to interact with us. We were consistently saying goodbye to one group of guests explaining that we were tired or needed some time alone only to hear SILIIII! screamed from vocal chords of the next arriving guest who wanted to come meet the family. It was bit exhausting for all of us. But it was wonderful to share the experience of my everyday life with my family, so they can better understand what I'm going through down here.

It's not to say that I'm undergoing this unimaginably difficult service, but I consistently find it difficult to articulate the challenges that I do have in my community, and like my mother said, you have to experience them first hand. Ultimately one of the most difficult parts of the whole thing is that the people are so generous and excited to interact with you, that its almost impossible to tell the 10 people hanging out on your porch for the last 2 hours that you need some alone time. "Alone time?" This culture has no idea what that even means. As my good friend and fellow volunteer said, "you'll never even see one of our community members in a hammock alone, there is always at least two people in there." And yet, I appreciate my alone time. I need it. I've always been someone who needs to read and write, and do at least a little recharging in silence. So I'll be there, hanging out on my porch or in my house writing a report or doing some reading, and someone from the community comes up to my porch, radio in hand, and most of the time its not even on. But I guess they've come to serenade me. Because they always turn that sucker right on as soon as they arrive onto the porch. In the moment I can get so frustrated, upset that my personal space was just invaded, but as I write this, I do so with a huge smile, chuckling away about the habits of the people I live with and the way our lives have become intertwined. I'm still learning to find that balance between remaining sane and truly giving myself to the community as I came down here to do.

So back to the beginning. My family's stay was such a great experience. We ended up seeing four bright fluorescent turquoise Quetzals in Boquete and went on this amazing coffee tour with 7' tall man named Hans from Holland. We got pretty perfect weather at my site and really throughout the entire trip. At sight we went on a 4-5 roundtrip hike deep into the jungle to a pineapple planation of this medicine man who I love. I was so impressed with my family's willingness and abilities to hike through the depths of the jungle. We played in the water on one of the beaches near me, bought some gorgeous hand woven bags from the women in a nearby community, and as mentioned before, did a lot of visiting. One of my favorite memories is when we got picked up at 5:30 in the morning in this dugout canoe to boat to another community to catch a boat off the peninsula. My mom looked at the boat, slightly frightened and said "no lifejackets?" and my dad and I just looked at her and said "sorry grace no life jackets this time." What a trooper. She just jumped right on and we were off. And while I thought it might make her worry more to know what it takes to get out to my site, she was actually comforted knowing that she had done it and lived to tell the story.

I feel so blessed to have had the love of my life, my parents, and my sister Nina come visit me. And I am so excited that a group of my best buddies from high school and college are coming down in september as well as my sister Laura in February. And I can't wait to come home for christmas to see my baby niece who is yet to enter this world, and of course the rest of my family (especially the mother and father, Nicole and Trav) who sadly and yet so wonderfully will not be able to visit.

Peace Corps still lives and breathes by the three goals set forth by JFK. 1) Providing technical assistance 2)Helping countries outside the United States understand US culture 3)Helping US citizens understand peoples of other countries

I thank you all for helping to promote these goals simply by reading.

Water Committees, Latrines, and Visitors

You must forgive me for taking so long since my last post. Entering civilization for just a few days after a month in site continually leaves me racing and a bit overwhelmed to communicate with all those I wish to communicate with. Trying to write emails, type up work reports, making and receiving calls back home, and connecting with other Peace Corps volunteers here in Panama left me with no time for a blog last time. I love receiving feedback about my blog though and really appreciate all those who are reading it.

Since my last blog I enjoyed the always wonderful and energizing company of my first visitor Helen Jones. We got to explore beautiful Taboga Island, Bocas and Bastimentos Island, ride on a giant dug out boat with a full grown cow as one of many passengers back to my site, move into my cabin, and then experience the debauchery of carnival. The community loved her visit and have made it very difficult to try and put her out of my mind given that they ask we constantly about her, or point out that the flowers she planted are winning in the growing race to my banana trees. The women were stoked to take her sardine-ing, show her how to make coconut oil, and demonstrate how they make cras (woven bags made from a natural or synthetic fiber). Needless to say, I was a sad little puppy when returning to my site and spending my first nights alone in my cabin.

Remaining busy appears to be the best remedy to missing loved ones so I’ve continued to work on my house, my garden, and begin capacitating a newly formed a water committee about potable water and methods necessary to design and build the aqueduct. The community certainly moves at a different pace than my energy and enthusiasm finds desirable. After returning from in-service-training last month I felt extremely eager to continue with the capacitation trainings. I arrived on a Sunday and tried to program a meeting with the water committee for Thursday. “No, we’re busy Thursday.” “Well how about Friday or Wednesday.” “Na, lets just wait until next Thursday because we picked Thursday for our meeting date and we should stick to it.” So I used the time to write a development plan and work around my house only to find out the following week that the community had planned for the president of the water committee to get merchandise for the store on Thursday. I protested so they changed the date, but nevertheless it made me have to give a little lecture about the importance of this committee.

Community members without tubes shoved in a creek bringing water to their house constantly ask me “when is the water going to arrive, my back hurts from carrying water” trying to complain in the most pathetic of voices so I hurry up with the project. But I try to empathetically explain to them that it’s a process and that now the water committee is just as responsible for the project as I am, and that they should ask those members. But even the water committee has yet to fully internalize that they are just as responsible for the success or failure of the project. And while I remain optimistic about the process of educating the water committee so that they can educate the rest of the committee and do the measurements and studies necessary to plan the gravity fed water system, they are struggling at times to assume such a role. Communities in Panama are never asked to be apart of a project like this. A politician usually hires an engineer from Panama City to come into the community, design and build the aqueduct with no education or feedback, and in a few years the aqueduct becomes damaged and the community doesn’t no a thing about how to fix it. This very thing happened to my community 12 years ago. I think this not only leaves them without water, but also hurts the morale of the community and their prospects for being apart of their own development. Any broken or unused infrastructure project sits there as a reminder that the community can’t develop and that they remain trapped in poverty. But if I can show them how to design the system, ask them to make some of the most important decisions about the project, have them build it, and teach them how to maintain it, then when I’m gone and a problem arrases, they wont have to wait another 12 years for someone to come along and try and fix it. It’s a slow process though and I’m starting from the very basics, teaching about water-shed management, the water cycle, contaminants, all while teaching about measuring flow, measure height differences between potential sources, tank locations, and homes, and then distances between these.

And then after we have the entire design ready the next stage will be soliciting for funds. It looks plausible that a local water and sanitation representative might be able to donate some of the tubes, but I’ll believe it when I see it. Most of the funds however will come from a funding source called Peace Corps Partnership Project (PCPP), where theoretically anybody scanning the web could read my (not yet written) proposal and donate to my project, but more than likely will come from friends, family, church groups, returned Peace Corps volunteers, or any other organizations that I email in search of funds. Then on top of that Peace Corps Panama has a strong relationship with two organizations that donate up to half of the funds received from the PCPP.

On top of the water project I’m also gearing up to start educating about the importance of latrines and hoping to build a pilot latrine project. I want to build just one composting latrine and have families take turns using it and providing me with feedback about whether they could actually see themselves using and maintaining it if we built one beside their home. Too often in the past Peace Corps Volunteers have built latrines in communities only to see them unused or never fully finished because Ngabes are simply much more comfortable pooping in the creek. Like mentioned earlier, I think it is a greater disservice to have unused latrines sitting in a community than none at all. So I’m not going to be twisting anybody’s arm to build a latrine next to his or her home. Those who remain committed after the pilot project will have to attend mandatory meetings and put a small financial deposit down before construction of latrines will begin.

Currently my sister Nina and my parents are here visiting (amazing!). After visiting the Panama Canal and enjoying many delicious meals in the city as mom tries to put those 15 pounds I’ve lost back on my, we enjoyed the relaxed rhythm of Las Lajas Beach Resort and are now currently in Boquete. After exploring the host springs, going on a coffee tour, and search for the elusive Quetzal we will take off for my site where I’m eager for my parents and Nina to see my daily life in Panama, the cabin I am oh so proud of, and meet my sweet community members. Hopefully we’ll get some good weather and be able to enjoy the great snorkeling I’ve discovered right in front of my house (where I will soon be honing my spear fishing skills), do some bird watching in the jungle, and eat some delicious michila maduro (ripe boiled and smashed bananas will coconut milk). We’re also discussing brining seeds to start a campaign to integrate more nutritious vegetables into the local diet after I figure out what grows well there and maybe some egg laying chickens which I’ve been promising to the local store so they can sell their own eggs rather than bringing them for Chirique Grande.