So my family has left me and yet I still remain in Panama City. After many years of a popping/cracking shoulder blade that has only worsened throughout my time proving myself in my community via manual labor and of course building my house, I am undergoing a bit of physical therapy. I feel a bit guilty being away from my community for so long, but I also want to take care of this problem before it progresses worse. So, I'm trying to embrace this unexpected time in the city as an opportunity to connect with friends and family online and plan out my upcoming projects, without visitors constantly at my door.

Getting time alone in my site is surprisingly hard to do. You would think otherwise. For god's sake, I live in the middle of nowhere. But what continues to become very clear is that the Ngäbes in my community have an EXTREMELY social culture. During the four days in my site with my lovely parents and sister Nina, we couldn't remember one moment at my house without 10 adults and children sitting on the front porch wanting to interact with us. We were consistently saying goodbye to one group of guests explaining that we were tired or needed some time alone only to hear SILIIII! screamed from vocal chords of the next arriving guest who wanted to come meet the family. It was bit exhausting for all of us. But it was wonderful to share the experience of my everyday life with my family, so they can better understand what I'm going through down here.

It's not to say that I'm undergoing this unimaginably difficult service, but I consistently find it difficult to articulate the challenges that I do have in my community, and like my mother said, you have to experience them first hand. Ultimately one of the most difficult parts of the whole thing is that the people are so generous and excited to interact with you, that its almost impossible to tell the 10 people hanging out on your porch for the last 2 hours that you need some alone time. "Alone time?" This culture has no idea what that even means. As my good friend and fellow volunteer said, "you'll never even see one of our community members in a hammock alone, there is always at least two people in there." And yet, I appreciate my alone time. I need it. I've always been someone who needs to read and write, and do at least a little recharging in silence. So I'll be there, hanging out on my porch or in my house writing a report or doing some reading, and someone from the community comes up to my porch, radio in hand, and most of the time its not even on. But I guess they've come to serenade me. Because they always turn that sucker right on as soon as they arrive onto the porch. In the moment I can get so frustrated, upset that my personal space was just invaded, but as I write this, I do so with a huge smile, chuckling away about the habits of the people I live with and the way our lives have become intertwined. I'm still learning to find that balance between remaining sane and truly giving myself to the community as I came down here to do.

So back to the beginning. My family's stay was such a great experience. We ended up seeing four bright fluorescent turquoise Quetzals in Boquete and went on this amazing coffee tour with 7' tall man named Hans from Holland. We got pretty perfect weather at my site and really throughout the entire trip. At sight we went on a 4-5 roundtrip hike deep into the jungle to a pineapple planation of this medicine man who I love. I was so impressed with my family's willingness and abilities to hike through the depths of the jungle. We played in the water on one of the beaches near me, bought some gorgeous hand woven bags from the women in a nearby community, and as mentioned before, did a lot of visiting. One of my favorite memories is when we got picked up at 5:30 in the morning in this dugout canoe to boat to another community to catch a boat off the peninsula. My mom looked at the boat, slightly frightened and said "no lifejackets?" and my dad and I just looked at her and said "sorry grace no life jackets this time." What a trooper. She just jumped right on and we were off. And while I thought it might make her worry more to know what it takes to get out to my site, she was actually comforted knowing that she had done it and lived to tell the story.

I feel so blessed to have had the love of my life, my parents, and my sister Nina come visit me. And I am so excited that a group of my best buddies from high school and college are coming down in september as well as my sister Laura in February. And I can't wait to come home for christmas to see my baby niece who is yet to enter this world, and of course the rest of my family (especially the mother and father, Nicole and Trav) who sadly and yet so wonderfully will not be able to visit.

Peace Corps still lives and breathes by the three goals set forth by JFK. 1) Providing technical assistance 2)Helping countries outside the United States understand US culture 3)Helping US citizens understand peoples of other countries

I thank you all for helping to promote these goals simply by reading.